2.4 Creative writing

It is a warm afternoon of December 2020, the dark cave has a ominous aura. A whole other world lays beyond that wall of darkness. This world is lush and green, the rolling hills of fauna en capture the stark contrast between the cave and the green cliffs off the ocean break. The feeling of long thick grass brushes in the wind like the bristles of a paint brush.

It is the peak of the noon and the sun is shining high and the heat is at its hottest the sky a sapphire gem dome of insulation. The humid breeze would cause anyones sweat to drip as all sheep and birds are seeking refuge in the shade and the interior of the canopy singing away there lively announcement claiming there tree top fortresses .

The ocean waves fold on top of each other, over the cliffs horizon. That sea smell no matter how many times you are met with it never gets old, the rather stale sulphury scent is carried by the salty breeze it’s pungence is like a jab to the nose. The salty taste of the air is like some fresh fish and chips mmm fish n chips.

There is a shift in the immaculate weather, you taste a storm brewing as the blue sky is crept over by the demon like hands off the oceans horizon. A gloomy overcast like a lifeless grey to blue gradient from the ocean to the warm hills.

Look as the sun anchors down lower it’s rays shoot over the cliffs edge at a lower inclination adding a greater saturation to the land of beach and cabbage trees; intertwined with other scruffy shrubbery. The scenery appears photoshoped like you have increased the saturation but lowered the exposure; and the areas of light seem to have a orange filter on them. The contrast between the gloomy sea cave and the warm emerald complexion of the land around it, makes it look like a mistake of a blob of black paint in a green landscape painting.

It is the final purging of the skys colour as its remaining life is sucked out of it and the sun is concealed to no longer project its colour, A once vibrant movie becoming a black and white. This is signified by the howl coming off the ocean break.

Listen as the ocean waves grow with rage violently trying to siege the eroded cliffs impenetrable castle walls. The waves are in a dog fight except both planes are kamikaze and they explode every time into the cliff and collapse. Giving off a less remarkably breath taking atmosphere, more a shift into a more sinister ill-omened dusk.

And then your focus shifts off the violence of the coast line as it dims along with the daylight as you enter the cave. The cave once a dark anxious en devour now a calming stroll through a underground forest of a constellation of blue larva accompanied bymossy rock formations and enchanted mushrooms. The glowing larva hatch as butterflies and bugs fly around in this untouched eco system. You walk further splash cold water submerges your ankles giving you a shock but a pleasant one as you see the end of the cave sprawling out onto the beach and ocean like a indoor outdoor living area. There are beach trees on the outside of the cave concealing it’s full identity. You pass through the doorway into the outdoor “living area” welcomed by calm waves and where the sun once was, the serene energy of the moon has replaced it.

2 thoughts on “2.4 Creative writing”

  1. Hi Keltan,

    It’s great to see you making the most of your time in this assessment!

    A few things to think about:

    – Make sure you develop a well rounded and detailed physical description. The reader really needs to be able to imagine that they are there in the scene.

    – Appeal to a range of senses so that the scene is well rounded.

    – Check back over the task so you get the structure and narrative POV correct. At the moment, you are using the first person and that is not part of this task.

    Mrs P

  2. Hey Keltan,

    Nice work! You have progressed with this well.

    A few things for you to think about:

    – Trim up your final paragraph. It is very long and it throws your piece off balance. Look to streamline it. Each paragraph should be reasonably similar in terms of length.

    – Keep the second-person pronouns out of the main body of the piece. They should only appear in the final paragraph.

    – Read this piece out loud to yourself to check mechanical accuracy and flow.

    – Keep developing the imagery in this piece. A big focus is on the physical aspects of the scene- what do you want us to see in our heads? What sounds go with that?

    Let me know if you have any questions!

    Mrs P

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